death is peaceful.life..is harder

i don't know if i'm going insane.but i'm so tempted to commit suicide now.mom's giving me hell.classes are gonna start soon and im definitely not looking forward to it.and right now i find myself sitting in front of this screen next to a knife.i weighed my options.
i can hang myself-im too short to hang myself to anything
slit my wrists
jump down a building-im afraid of heights
poison-too dramatic =.='
so i figured i'll go for slitting my wrists.cos if i run away..where do i run to?sometimes dying is better.my mom always tells me im gonna learn the hard way.when she dies i'll learn.has it ever crossed your mind that i may die first mom?i've done everything today.clean my room, the chores and even sharpen the knife.
i wanna feel the warmth of my blood spilling down into my palms.i wanna slowly slip away as my whole life flashes before me.i just wanna die.


how would you like coming home to your daughter lying in a pool of blood on the floor?
i'm sure you'll love it.

jay dee's advance bday

hi everyone!i hv exam on tuesday!*screams* but but but...i went out ytd..to celebrate jd's bday in advance!more like i was forced to go la.haha..but no regrets yo!omg omg.like the whole while we were in the car on the way to PUTRAJAYA, all 5 of us were reminiscing bout the good ol' days in school.and who r the 5?
jade
bird
chuen
and our galfren!!(PRABU!!!)

and of course me la.
we din noe the way to alamanda so jade wound down the window to ask this couple in the car beside us.n the lady said follow us.we're going there now.she spoke in malay la.we were like omg!so fortunate man.hahaha..
there was so much screaming and laughing in the car and it was so fun.making fun of prabu.when we finally reached alamanda, we stood in the mall in front of the directory and stared blankly.hahaha..had no idea where to go.so we called the one person we came all the way there for..the one and only hazri asraf bin zainuddin!!
after he came, we walked to mcds and sat there so jd could eat.
after that we just walked around, laughed, ran, made a fool of ourselves(well,more like myself) on the escalator and poked boobies.i duno wats up with jade n booby poking.she enjoys it!and she spread the booby poking syndrome to me as well.hahaha..n our victim was elibird!!hahahaha...cos shes like so soft n delicate n wun kena us back so we kena her la.hahaha..

before we left, we went to BR to find sumthin out.jade asked me to ask.
me: hi.excuse me.may i noe who's the manager here?
the only guy at the counter:looks at me like as if im an idiot and says..i am.
hahaha...omg!in my face man!hahaha...but like..i duno..jade wanted to noe if her former manager worked there cos she heard she transfered to alamanda.haha..but i think she left already.oh well.
so after that embarassment we went to buy famous amos cookies n left to go to the dataran.since G noes the way, we asked him to show directions la.this guy led us to a mamak.hahahaha..n we were like WTH?!this is no dataran!hahahha..then hes like oh!u wanna go dataran ah?i thought shisha!hahahahaha....so he led the way to the dataran la.when we reached there..we took pics, ran around, sat in the middle of a star and talked n talked n talked.seriously enjoyed that time.

after all that we went to send G back to bangi and reached home bout 11.40.but got scolding frm my parents.hahaha..cos they duno i went to putrajaya.think i went to pyramid.ssshh...
oh well.im sry mummy..im sry daddy...i luv ya'll.but if i told u where i was going u wudnt hv let me go.cos u dun think its safe.but im fine.so dun worry so much.:)

n i ended up sleeping at 2 sumthing.woke up today and supposed to study.and im going now.

i jz wanna say..i miss u guys so much la..i wish i could see ya'll more often.ive had a horrible week n u guys really changed everything.thanks a bunches!luv ya'll!
im glad jade had fun too.thats the most important thing.cos it was all bout u ytd!have a nice birthday dear!

xoxo.